I have failed the blog and myself. I wanted to write a new blog post every week and that, unfortunately, has not happened. I could make up an excuse saying I’ve been busy and just haven’t had to time but let’s be honest, I would be lying to myself and you.
What brought me back today was a feeling of emptiness, almost feeling lost in the world. I was just needing a place to talk. It’s not like I didn’t have anyone to talk to, I’m currently surrounded by people at work that I vent to regularly. But I don’t feel like talking to my friends, boyfriend or family about how I’m currently feeling right now. I’m sure you’ve had that weird “lost” feeling before where you wanted to talk but didn’t want to talk, that’s me right now.
I’m sure you’ve had that weird “lost” feeling before where you wanted to talk but didn’t want to talk, that’s me right now.
This strange feeling scares me, almost reminds me of my depression in high school but I know that feeling and this is not that. When I was depressed I didn’t even want to get out of bed in the morning, I would sleep all day and all night. I wouldn’t have an appetite, didn’t want to be near anyone, and I wouldn’t take care of myself. No this is not that. I’ve never
I wake up in the morning and don’t feel a sense of dread like I use to. I look forward to the day and what it might be. I make my tea, pick out a cute outfit, kiss the boyfriend goodbye and head to work in a good mood. I’ve never been happier in my life than I am now, well besides when I was a kid because let’s be honest kids don’t have a care in the world. But I love my life right now, of course, there are some things that I might change about it but that doesn’t mean I’m not happy with it just that I would want to improve it even more if I had the chance.
I guess that’s why I’m writing this, I want to better my life. I don’t want to be in this job for the rest of my life and I want to do something that I truly would love to do. If that means getting more involved in this blog, sewing more, starting my own business so be it. I just need to get rid of this weird “lost” feeling so that I can make that leap. Maybe making that leap is what I need to get rid of that feeling.
Thank you for reading my random thoughts as I stumble through life.